So this is the part where I am, against my will, forced to share with you, or torture you with, some of the most memorable (read: worst) moments of my painfully predictable page-turning-process. Trying to connect this post with my earliest, I will focus on one subject in particular:
Descriptions.
Up first: Garments. Stephenie Meyer's indefatigable need in describing clothing is imminent and in fact, as if we’d have though it to be possible, worsening the text. By insistently squeezing unfitting sentences into the already non-fluent formulations she is continuously breaking what ounce of magic – if that's what they call it – she might clearly unintentionally have created. A great example is the one in this meant-to-be-thrilling scene where Bella has, in an attempt to be heroic and morally correct by sacrificing her own life, run into the arms of a non-”vegetarian” vampire (that is to say a blood drinking one; a normal one):
“His dark eyes assessed me with interest. The irises were nearly black, just a hint of ruby around the edges. Thirsty.
”I will give your strange coven this much, you humans can be quite interesting. I guess I can see the draw of observing you. It’s amazing ― some of you seem to have no sense of your own self-interest at all.”
He was standing a few feet away from me, arms folded, looking at me curiously. There was no menace in his face or stance. He was so very average-looking, nothing remarkable about his face or body at all. Just the white skin, the circled eyes I’d grown so used to. He wore a pale blue, long-sleeved shirt and faded blue jeans.”
Page 445
W-question for the ones who didn't understand what problem I have with this part:
WHY WOULD WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE WORE?!?!?!
Subsequently, I would like to introduce another one of Mrs Meyer's many darling victims to word-painting: Edward Cullen's eyes – or, more correctly, his gazes. The looks this gorgeous vampire youth is repeatedly firing at Bella seem somehow easier for her to read than if they'd been described and written down in words by Edward “Mood Swing Man” Cullen himself, even when they last no longer than one millionth of a second. I have abstracted a number of quotations on this theme, chosen over many others, from two of the earlier chapters:
“As I examined them, the youngest, one of the Cullens, looked up and met my gaze, this time with evident curiosity in his expression. As I looked swiftly away, it seemed to me that his glance held some kind of unmet expectation.”
Page 22
“I peeked up at him one more time, and regretted it. He was glaring down at me again, his black eyes full of revulsion.”
Page 24
“But Edward Cullen's back stiffened, and he turned slowly to glare at me – his face was absurdly handsome – with piercing hate-filled eyes.”
Page 27
“His dazzling face was friendly, open, a slight smile on his flawless lips. But his eyes were careful.”
Page 43
“I glanced up, and he was staring at me, that same inexplicable look of frustration in his eyes.”
Page 46
Apart from questionable punctuations in some of the sentences above I would like you to take a closer look at one fact in particular: Correct me if I'm wrong, but is it not usually the facial features AROUND the eyes that signifies and expresses feelings, and not so much the eyes themselves? Then again, what do I know, vampires could have other talents apart from the ordinary sparkling in sunlight, growling like wolves (shouldn't werewolves be the ones doing that by the way?) and climbing trees at light speed. Maybe Edward and Pluto have the ability of showing emotions with their pupils only in common?
Miss B. A. Vamposaur
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