I am only writing this to warn you. I am warning you for the evil things that will happen soon... You all will die, if you not hide or protect yourselves with your kettle-holders, because it will be hot. Really hot. It would not protect you very long, but it will hopefully save one minute of your life or so. Then you will die. I hope you all to survive long enough so I can reach you, but for most of you the hope will be for nothing. The end is near and now you know it. You should thank me for warning you all.
How to now exactly when the end comes
The end comes the day after the next fullmoon after the last of 13 following sundays (the last day with sun, I do not mean Sunday). If you are so unsmart you do not understand that, you can just look for your cat, if you cannot fint it, the end has come and you are soon to be dead. So hopefully you will count the sundays and look at the moon.
What to do
When the end has come do this:
1. Pack the most important, such as kettle-holders, umbrellas and one fork for each familymember.
2. Eat as much as you possibly could. You never know when there will be time to eat again.
3. Make your children to go to the bathroom, it is really important or it could be an accident.
4. Go out and lock your door. (Do not forget your children!)
5. Follow the yellow brick road! (Not the same as in the Wizard of Oz!!!!)
6. When you have reached the end of the road, eat dinner.
7. You will see me, and you will be scared, but do not run!
8. Something amazing will happen to you!
9. If you wake up, you will feel stronger than ever!
10. LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!!
Chanses of survival
If you follow the list above, the survivalrate is somewhere between 30-40 %. If you do not follow the list the survivalrate is under 1%.
I hope that you will follow the list, and that you won't die on the way here!
Hope to see you when the End comes!
Best wishes,
Bracula Vamposaur
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